Self Help Books

I'm dysfunctional & I have baggage. Sometimes I even go into drama mode. Yep that's me! I grew up in the 70's. Drugs, sex, rock-n-roll, booze & Viet Nam. Oh, & let's not forget the mental & physical punishment inflicted on us. Hitting was allowed. Smacking the snot out of kids was allowed. If you didn't cooperate you were hit; by your parents, by your relatives, your neighbors, your teachers & the nuns. The nuns were the worse! They would smack the God into you with absolutely no remorse. Then make you do 10 Novenas, "forgive me Father for I have sinned, I rolled my eyes at Sister Mary Elephant."

My mother was a screamer & my father was a hitter. "Just wait till your father gets home!", she'd scream with her neck muscles popping out & her eyes bulging out of her head.

So yeah, I have baggage, some I have gotten rid of, some I keep, I use it as an excuse to be bad. After 50+ years of living, I have baggage & that's what makes up me! My bad.

My girlfriends read Self Help books. Then they analyze the rest of us & explain how we are doing this & that wrong. Oh really!

I HATE SELF HELP BOOKS!

One of my girlfriends is reading a book on loving yourself. She says to me, "you know you have to fall in love with yourself, before you can fall in love with a man." Oh really! Excuse me but I am arrogant, I think I am kewl, hot, really hot, all that & a bag of chips. I all ready love myself.

My other girlfriend is reading another book, this one is on sex. She is now a born-again virgin. Yup, she's going to wait until she get's married before she has sex again. She says to me, "I feel sooo fulfilled & cleansed, like I have something grrrreat to look forward to, like I know this new man will find me beautiful & will appreciate the fact that I am saving myself for him". "You should try it," she says to me. Oh really! But I don't want to get married, so why buy the pig when I only want a little sausage. She finds no humor in this.

Another friend is reading a book on relationships. Her man of 3 years has been having an affair (for a year & half) with his ex-girlfriend. This book has told her to forgive him, to stand by him & to let him continue as is until he decides what he wants. Oh really!

She says she knows he loves her. He apologized profusely, took her to a nice restaurant & bought her a beautiful diamond necklace. Oh really! Isn't that prostitution? A man takes a woman to a fancy restaurant, buys her jewelry, they have sex, then he does the same to another woman. Prostitution! To this she replies that the book said she should be more tolerable to her mans needs. Oh really! So he wants his Kate & Edith too & you are to comply? Yes, she says. THUNK, there goes another woman hitting the floor & turning into linoleum.

Then she adds, according to the book, men hate drama & she should have kept it to herself. She should have let the cheating run it's course, because men hate drama. Oh really! To this I say, "men don't hate drama, they hate the emotions that drama brings up. And god forbid if a man has to actually deal with HIS emotions!" Yes, she says, he was sooo distraught when I asked him if he was seeing someone else. Oh the poooooor baby, he cheated, lied, manipulated you, disrespected you in the worse way possible & basically said you are not the one & will be gone when he finds her. Poor poor baby, how dare you bring this to his attention. No wonder he was distraught, you blew his cover, now he ain't got no game!

Another girlfriend is reading a book on the different types of men, how to recognize them & how to avoid them. She says she is attracted to bad boys. Each time it ends very bad with her getting hurt. She just doesn't understand why. Oh really! So you didn't know they were called bad boys cause they are bad? DUH! To this she says, "but they all start out so sweet & when they get bad I think with my love I can change them." Oh really! Isn't insanity doing the same thing over & over again & expecting the same results? I don't think she likes me anymore.

Yep, I'm dysfunctional & have baggage. I don't need a Self Help book to tell me this! Besides, I like who I am & I don't want to change.