COUGARS

Cougar is a relatively new term, but we have been around for years, hiding away in the 'burbs pretending to be happily married housewives. We have children nicknamed Buffy, Chipper, Sissy, yada yada yada. Our husbands had high powered jobs, wore suits & screwed their perky titty secretaries.

We had yard boys, pool boys, cabana boys, house boys. We hired boys from outside our neighborhood for any & all jobs we were too lazy to do. Not until we found out our husbands were screwing around did we realize these "hired boys" could be useful in other rooms of the house.

Our husbands went through phases. First it was the "I have to travel for my job" phase, where he was gone on work travel the majority of the time, always accompanied by his very young, very perky titty secretary. Then when the kids went off to college he went through the "old man, pot bellied, man titty, out of shape, high blood pressure, no interest in sex" phase.

During these man phases, out of the necessity for sexual survival, the Cougar was born.

I caught my best girl friend naked in her pool doing things with her "yard boy" that I thought only porn stars did, certainly not suburban housewives. I let out a huge gasp, which they heard, but weren't even startled. Instead they giggled & asked me to join them. I fled embarrassed & shocked, ran to my house developed a migraine, took a Valium & went to bed.

For weeks, I avoided the both of them. When "the yard boy" came by I went shopping, when the girls invited me to lunch, if "she" was also invited I made an excuse not to join them. Oh, but I thought about it, a lot, fantasized really. The thought haunted me to the point where I just had to talk with "her" & find out how I too could get in on the action. Of course this thought repulsed & shocked me, but the thought of sex overrode any indecision I had & muffled my common sense.

My husband was over the "screwing his secretary" phase & was going into the "too fat, too out of shape, not interested in sex & couldn't get it up" phase. I was in the "children can fend for themselves, done with menopause, ready to play" phase. But I had no one to play with, thus another Cougar was born.